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Our friends for over two decades, a person who's faced and conquered numerous challenges, which I admire. Yet, she's often blindsided by people. Her partner ended their marriage, which came as an unexpected event. Many of her friends vanished during that time, since they had been only interested in her husband. This surprised her. She made increased attention toward our bond, likely grasped more clearly what friendship was.

A Recurring Theme In Relationships

Over the years, quite a few close to her vanished and she isn't knowing the cause. The company she worked for turned on her, despite the fact that she was very skilled at her work, her exit happened without knowing the reason for the change.

Current Dynamics

Recently, we've both stepped back from work so we're spending each other more, but I am finding my position between us is to listen. I open subjects but she shifts them to her own topics. In terms of politics, she holds unyielding views. I try to suggest verifying facts and alternate views.

She's been organizing a trip abroad I know well repeatedly and lived in for some time. My intention was to provide personal experiences, yet it was met with resistance. She purely solely sought validation of her choices. I've just come back from 30 days in that country and she wants to catch up, yet I'm reluctant.

Weighing the Options

I don't want in this role that walks away abruptly, but I don't think she'll truly comprehend the impact of her behaviour on my confidence. At this point, I find myself in distancing myself. How should I proceed?

Potential Solutions

You could walk away, however, that approach is rarely a smooth outcome we imagine. But confrontation with the goal of working things out takes courage and openness from both people.

Professional advice indicates trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Step one involves describing what typically happens when you talk. Aim for this to be as factual as possible like an unbiased account. The second is to tell her how it leaves you feeling. There should be no argument about this. What you feel are your feelings, of course. Finally is to question how you are both will alter the dynamics of your friendship."

Consider your friend has her own side, so you need to be prepared to listen to her. An approach that works is to say your friend:

"It's your turn to speak while I will remain silent for half an hour."

It's remarkably impactful for promoting mutual respect.

Key Takeaways

This person could ignore all you say, as some people have a “survival narrative”: they maintain a narrative about themselves they're unable to let go of since their identity depends upon it being the only thing they trust. This is difficult because there's no thoroughfare with these people, only cul-de-sacs. Yet she could at first react like this and then think your perspective. And should a resolution isn't found a fix, you'll have satisfaction knowing you were honest with her.